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For Super Soft Brillo Beards
Duke Cannon Supply Co. Best Damn Beard Oil
For Powerful Coffee
Moccamaster KGBV Select Coffee Maker
For Pockets in Pockets in Pockets in …
Ten Thousand Tactical Pant
A Sharp Blade for Shaving
Single-Edge Razor
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Photograph: Eric Ravenscraft
For Super Soft Brillo Beards
Duke Cannon Supply Co. Best Damn Beard Oil
If you put words Amazon doesn’t like in a product’s name, that immediately makes it more manly. To wit, there’s Duke Cannon’s Best
DamnBeard Oil, for scratchy facial hair. This beard oil helps prevent ingrown hairs and makes facial hair feel softer to the touch. Though, please note, the bottle says explicitly that it’s “not for clowns,” so don’t buy this for any Pagliaccis in your life. —Eric Ravenscraft -
Photograph: Matthew Korfhage
For Powerful Coffee
Moccamaster KGBV Select Coffee Maker
Just look at that name: Moccamaster. This is a coffeemaker that drinks and breathes pure power and precision. The Technivorm Moccamaster is burly, yet precise. It makes old-school drip coffee, better than that fancy Starbucks stuff. But what the manly man in your life should truly love about the Moccamaster is that it’s real hand-tooled craftsmanship. It is perhaps the world’s only high-end coffee maker that looks like a power tool made by DeWalt, and it is just as sturdy. It’s been handmade since 1968 in the Netherlands, a country where their idea of a party is often just blowing things up. The precision-made Moccamaster will keep your coffee within a four-degree range for optimum brewing. And its parts can be replaced or repaired, just like the engine of an old car. Judging from others’ experience, it’ll probably last you decades. What a machine. Moccamaster.
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Photograph: Ten Thousand
For Pockets in Pockets in Pockets in …
Ten Thousand Tactical Pant
WIRED gear team operations manager Scott Gilbertson has decreed these pants the most tactical out of all pants. They look great—which is to say, not like trash bags—and have plenty of pockets. There are actual pockets inside other pockets. If you care more about practicality than fashion but don’t want to look like it, these are the pants for you. —Eric Ravenscraft
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Photograph: Matthew Korfhage
A Sharp Blade for Shaving
Single-Edge Razor
Shaving ain’t manly shaving unless it’s sharp on your neck. A Leaf Thorn single-blade safety razor (8/10, WIRED Recommends) offers what they call in the barber trade an “aggressive” shave, the kind of risk that breeds reward. The reward is skin that’s baby-smooth. It is the skin of competence and elegant aggressiveness. Of men who know from shaving. It’s the shave you expect George Clooney might exact in O, Brother, Where Art Thou? Add a lathered brush and bowl and you can graduate from George Clooney to Cary Grant.
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Photograph: Matthew Korfhage
The Hottest Heat
Flatiron Pepper Co. Premium Pepper Flakes
Who needs tepid pizza peppers when you can have Carolina Reaper pizza peppers, ghost pepper chili shake, and peppers named for scorpions? Whether outrageous heat or merely big flavor, these pepper flake mixes from Flatiron Pepper Co. are multiple orders of magnitude more amped than basic red pepper bits—running the gamut from an “I Can’t Feel My Face” capsaicin dare to a full-throated Hatch-habanero chili mix whose intensity arrives mostly as flavor. Barbecue sauce and hot sauce are a merely basic manosphere obsession. Nuclear-level chili flakes is god-tier. These turn pizza into bragging rights, and salad into pain. It’s a gift made for every brother-in-law you’ve got.
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Photograph: GORUCK
For Carrying Stupid Heavy Loads. Because You Can.
GoRuck GR1
The GoRuck GR1 is an incredibly comfortable pack, but don’t hold that against it. Throw in a 30 lb Ruck Plate ($120), and somewhere around the 100-mile mark in your ruck, you should begin to sweat blood. The GR1 is a bomb-proof pack, possibly literally, but that’s probably classified. The outside of the pack is made of 1000 Denier Cordura (for comparison most of the outdoor industry gets by with 210, maybe 500 if a company is trying to man up). Here’s what we know: if the GR1 is manly enough for former SEALs and Green Berets, it’s manly enough for the man you’re giving a gift. —Scott Gilbertson
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Photograph: Amazon
For Trimming Your Hedge
BALLS V3 Archibald Electric Razor
Some companies try to be subtle when marketing products aimed at grooming your junk, with euphemisms like “Look your best, all over.” Then there’s BALLS. Cofounded by Matt Edge and Tyler Ball (what are the odds?), this company makes electric razors like the Archibald trimmer specifically aimed at trimming hair in hard-to-trim places.
What makes this different from a typical razor? It’s completely waterproof, so you can even use it in the shower. It also has a small LED under the razor, so you can better see what you’re doing down where the sun doesn’t shine. Beyond that, the razor performs pretty well in terms of shaving without nicking sensitive skin, which would be enough to recommend it without all the bells and whistles. —Eric Ravenscraft
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Photograph: Eric Ravenscraft
For the Bathroom Bar
Cremo Rich-Lathering Body Wash
Has your man ever been in the shower and thought, “Man, I could use a drink”? If so, this bottle of body wash from Cremo might be for them. Uh, not that anyone should drink body wash. This container looks a lot like a whiskey bottle. Whiskey is the most manly of mild poisons, of course. This is an older design, though the new look still looks pretty whiskey-esque. Either way, if they’d like their shower to look more like a home bar than a bathroom, it’s the way to go. —Eric Ravenscraft
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Photograph: Gun Oil
For the Bedroom
Gun Oil Lube
It’s a bottle of lube in the shape of a bullet. How much more manly can you get? Indeed, the company’s YouTube channel leans heavily into advising men doing manly things, like laying pipe and cooking sausages. Thankfully, this lube is quite viscous and even made it into our Best Lubes guide. —Eric Ravenscraft
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Photograph: Amazon
For Wiping Down Your Dudes
Dude Wipes
If your good, strong hands are too powerful to use normal wet wipes without accidentally shredding them to pieces, then you’re gonna need Dude Wipes. WIRED reviewer Louryn Strampe swears by them for surviving festivals where a shower might be in short supply. They’re large and pretty durable, as wet wipes go. They also come in black packaging, which is very important to maximize manliness. —Eric Ravenscraft
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Photograph: Pat Lafrieda
Beef in a Box
Pat LaFrieda Meat Purveyors Delivery Steaks
Pat LaFrieda is a New York butcher. His dad was a butcher, and his dad’s dad was a butcher, and so was the dad before that. The first butcher became a butcher after he got in a fistfight outside a butcher shop. This is Naples, Italy, we’re talking about, where you sell meat or you’re the meat. (We made this proverb up, but it seems right.) Anyway, this is not just good but actually great beef in a box. Pat LaFrieda beef is the beef served at some of the most famous restaurants in New York. It will also come in the mail, wherever you are: fresh, never frozen. And then it goes on the fire. According to WIRED gear team operations manager Scott Gilbertson, smart people wait for that super-fresh beef with a catcher’s mitt, then cook it right up. Beef this good, you don’t make it wait.
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An “Ultra-Tough” Cooler
RTIC RTIC 45QT Ultra-Tough Cooler
You might wonder whether black is the most natural color for a cooler, given its propensity for absorbing heat. OK, and? Suck it up, and embrace the steely, Vader-esque manliness of this Ultra-Tough cooler from RTIC. It’s roto-molded, natch, but it’s also filled with 2.8 inches of foam. I have tested the 45-quart version while tailgating in temps where the cooler was actually helping keep our seltzers from exploding. The Ultra-Tough is a beast to carry by yourself (the manly way, the way John Wayne would carry a cooler) because it weighs almost 30 pounds empty. This means it’s about 55 pounds with a 24-pack of Bud Light, and 60 pounds if you toss in a 5-pound bag of ice from the store. But the foam handles mounted on free-swinging ropes make it manageable. In terms of build quality, this RTIC cooler is actually a little more solid than the Yeti size 65 that I previously owned, especially when it comes to the leak-free screw-in drain plug. —Martin Cizmar
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Photograph: Louryn Strampe
A Crate of Menly
Man Crates World Tour Jerky Crate
What could be more manly than beef jerky? Beef jerky that arrives in a crate with a “Man Crates” brand stamped on the sides. That you have to open with a crowbar. That’s also stamped “Man Crates”. This crate deeply upset me because I was struggling to open it with the included, tiny, useless crowbar. (I’m not very manly.) I used my womanly charms on it, also known as prying it open with a screwdriver while swearing a lot and contemplating running it over with my car. Luckily, the nine different varieties of jerky inside are gender-inclusive—and delicious. I especially liked the spicy-sweet bacon jerky and the savory sausages, and I know any jerky enthusiast would find something in this crate that delighted them. And I suppose the Prising of the Crate is fun, which is why I’m going to re-glue the lid on and use it as packaging for a gag gift this holiday season. —Louryn Strampe
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Photograph: Eric Ravenscraft
For Protein-Packed Pancakes
Kodiak Power Cakes Flapjack and Waffle Mix
Do you need a more powerful pancake? A weightier waffle? A more formidable flapjack? Don’t we all? The Kodiak Power Cakes mix delivers 14 grams of protein into a single pancake. Just add water (or milk and eggs for bonus protein). This might not be marketed specifically at manly men, but this pancake mix is prominently branded with a giant bear. And what’s more manly than a bear? —Eric Ravenscraft
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Photograph: Matthew Korfhage
What I Call a Knife
Feder Knives K-Tip Chef Knife
As Crocodile Dundee always knew, there are knives and then there are knives. And there’s nothing more mannish than paying a lot for a hand-hewn tool that will serve you for life, and then telling everyone you meet about the majesty of said tool. Geoff Feder, the maker of this K-Tip, is your favorite knife guy’s favorite knife guy, a host of the Knife Talk podcast, a bladesmith who cuts his knife pattern with a band saw after tracing onto raw steel. Feder’s signature K-Tip is an 8.25-inch Japanese-inspired chef’s blade that’s been heat-treated to damn near the hardest hardness that AEB-L stainless steel can achieve, with fiercely pointed geometry made for precision blade work. This is full-tang steel, none of that half-tang stuff. This forward-balanced K-tip feels like the chef version of Excalibur every time you uncork it from its rough-hewn guard. Though its colorful handle bears the whimsical name of Bubblegum Lift Ticket, this blade will make you question whether your other knives are even knives, bro. Also, it’s quite pretty. Is that OK to say in a manly men guide?
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Photograph: Scott Gilbertson
A Pocket Knife for Life
Benchmade Crooked River Knife
Men carry knives. Always. You just never know when you’re going to need to cut something. Some men like the everything-and-the-kitchen-sink Swiss Army Champ ($125), but the simplicity of a folding knife has its own manly appeal. Benchmade knives are not cheap, but they’re pretty near indestructible, and have a lifetime warranty. Benchmade will even sharpen it for you if you’re not man enough to do it yourself. —Scott Gilbertson
