Dating apps promised to make finding love easier. For many users, though, they’ve just made it more exhausting. Swiping, ghosting, and endless conversations that rarely materialize into real-life dates have left people burned out and disillusioned. A cultural shift is underway as singles ditch the apps in favor of real-world connections.
San Francisco athletic communities like the volunteer-run tennis group The Mission Athletic Club (TMAC), the cycling collective Fatcake, and a private running club we visited with are proving that connections forged through sweaty hobbies lead to deeper, more lasting relationships. These groups, which have anywhere from a few dozen members to a thousand, aren’t just about romance—they’re about community, consistency, and the kind of social bonds that form when people see each other week after week.
Following the Covid-19 lockdowns, there’s been a renewed hunger for in-person connection, and for many, that means expanding social circles in spaces where dating isn’t the primary focus. Instead of assessing every new encounter for its dating potential, people are gravitating toward environments where relationships, romantic or otherwise, develop naturally over time.
There’s no better proof that the best way to meet someone might not be through a screen but through the shared experience of play, sweat, and adventure.
Love Match
“I’m open to playing doubles for life,” says Belinda Huang, a single twentysomething who enjoys the natural way relationships develop on the tennis court. She’s a member of TMAC, a club that hosts tennis matches and off-court social activities. Seeing the same faces week after week allows friendships, and sometimes love, to evolve organically, she says, without the pressure of a first-date setting.
TMAC’s founder, Prince Boucher, puts it best: “Play is the way; love is the goal.” While TMAC wasn’t created as a dating hub, its emphasis on fun, inclusivity, and community has led to plenty of relationships. The club has about 1,000 rotating members.
For those who aren’t actively looking for romance, TMAC is still a social lifeline. One member, who only gave her first name, MJ, shared that she had never used dating apps and preferred meeting people through shared activities. “It’s refreshing to connect over something you both love rather than trying to force a spark through a screen.”
Sean Lee and Jina Zhu were already a couple when they joined TMAC, but they were inspired to have a tennis-themed proposal thanks to the group. The ring was hidden in a custom tennis-ball-shaped box.
Riding Off Into the Sunset
The cycling collective Fatcake was created to provide a more inclusive space in the male-dominated cycling scene, with a focus on gender and queer inclusivity. Many members join to make friends, meet like-minded people, and enjoy a shared passion, though several members admit the possibility of meeting someone special is always in the back of their minds.
Two serious relationships have emerged out of Fatcake. Liz Schinski shared that after months of riding with the group without meeting anyone of interest, she kept attending simply for the community. Then, one day, her now-partner joined. She spent the next two months strategically showing up to flirt with him until they finally set up a date. They’ve been happily together ever since.
Another couple met during a grueling 6:30 am ride, bonding over their shared love of cycling and skiing. Their connection built over time, without the pressure of swiping and forced small talk.
Of course, dating within an athletic group comes with its own challenges. Serious cyclists can spend upwards of 15 hours a week on the bike, not including post-ride coffee stops and social hangouts. That level of commitment can put a strain on relationships if both partners are not equally invested.
Camille Matonis, a single member of Fatcake, jokes that when she’s on dating apps, her motto is simple: “No bike, no swipe.” Her friend Mandeep Gill laughs and adds, “He’s a 10, but he doesn’t ride bikes.”
For these cyclists, meeting through Fatcake provides an immediate foundation of shared interests, something dating apps rarely offer. Instead of filtering potential matches through arbitrary profile traits, they bond over the thrill of a long ride, the camaraderie of early group meetups, and the spontaneous moments that unfold along the way.
Running Toward Connection or Something More
Running clubs have a reputation as hot spots for singles, but not all fit that mold. One high-energy private club in San Francisco prioritizes community first. “We’re a run club, not a dating club,” says member Andrew McGrath. “But when you’re doing something you love, sometimes you find people you love.”
Still, dating within a running group has its challenges. Baharak Arjo noted that some men casually chat with multiple women and stop short of forming real connections. She also pointed out there are generational divides in club dating etiquette, and some members can feel caught between age groups.
Despite these dynamics, this run group proves that clubs like theirs offer more than just a workout. Whether people come to train, to meet new friends, or to find something deeper, one thing is clear—connections happen naturally when you’re moving in the same direction.
